Photo by Wattie Cheung
As amusing as something like Savage Love is, we’ve never been that into sex columns. Probably because one of our lady’s used to write one. (Don’t ask.) That said, we were thrilled at the prospect of passing your personal problems onto Frances McKee of the Vaselines. As it turns out, she’s not just skilled at writing massive, filler-free hooks. She also knows how to solve your strangest ‘issues’ in three sentences tops.
P.S. The Vaselines’ first proper full-length in forever, Sex With an X, drops on Sub Pop today.
What’s your take on sexting? Is it a way to â€œkeep things interesting,â€ or is it yet another example of how socially inept we all are?
– Genuinely Curious
Sexting is great as long as you don’t do it with your husband.
My girlfriend and I have been together for eight years. And surprise–we don’t have sex much anymore. One of the main reasons is more complicated than sheer boredom, though. It’s her job, which she thinks about all:the:time. She’s a workaholic in a very competitive field, so I can’t blame her for obsessing over certain things, but how do I get her to start worrying about getting ahead in our relationship, not just her career field? – Sexless In Seattle
DITCH THE GIRLFRIEND. She clearly has no time for you.
I’m gonna keep this one short and simple: I’m a woman who suffers from coprophilia and is looking for a way to break that news to my partner–we’ve dated for a year and have a very healthy sex life–without terrifying him. Any ideas? Or should I just keep things to myself? – I Swear I’m Not That Weird
Just tell him, “It’s not what you eat, but what you excrete that matters most.” He’ll understand and then you can have an enema together.
I’m a 30-year-old woman who’s very happy in my relationship. In fact, my boyfriend and I might as well be married, as we’ve been together for six years and are more committed than most people I know who are married. That said, he’s suddenly on this kick where he wants to tape us having sex and, well, I have a hard time trusting anyone doing that since videos seem to find their way to the Internet so quickly these days. Should I tell him to give up his homemade porn fantasies, or should I give it a try just once?
– Not Sure If I’m Ready For My Closeup, Mr. DeMille
Go on; give a it a try. You might become the next porn star and be able to give up the day job.
Considering your new album is called Sex With an X, I have to wonder: do you think it’s a good idea, or a bad idea, to reignite an old flame when one’s feelings for an ex may still be there?
– Thinking About Making That Call
Never go back. It will end in tears. I should know.
I had a dream where my husband’s face suddenly turned into my father’s last night. Should I be worried/seek therapy immediately? Or was this some sort of Freudian slip? – Pretty Freaked Out
You mean you would like to shag your father? Haven’t you done that already?
Do you think performance-enhancing drugs are bullshit? Or do they do for sex what steroids do for baseball players?
– Trying To Up My Game
I think you need something better than that. I’m waiting for your call.
My girlfriend and I just celebrated our one-year anniversary. I’m really terrified of things becoming too routine since all relationships seem to hit a major snag at some point. Got any pointers on how to keep our sex life interesting?
– Ready To Try Anything (Well, Almost Anything)
Have sex with someone else.
I’m a 38-year-old woman who’s been in and out of relationships for years now, mostly because I keep feeling like I can find someone better–someone I’m passionate about AND can actually have a decent conversation with. And yet, it really feels like I keep finding one or the other: someone I have a lot in common with and am not that attracted to, or someone that’s a bit of a moron but is great at sex. I realize that sounds like a cliche, but that’s just how my life’s been for a while now. Am I being too picky, or should I just keep looking?
– Sorry I Have Standards
No one man serves all functions, so my advice is to keep a few plates spinning.
My girlfriend had an affair a few years into our relationship–one I didn’t find out about until after we broke up. Three years after that breakup, we’re now back together. She feels like that was then and this is now–that she’s â€œnot the same person she was when she was younger.â€ Should I trust her? Because I’m having a hard time not thinking about it.
– A Skeptic
Get over it or end it.
I’m a 26-year-old straight male who happens to find some men attractive. Aesthetically speaking, not sexually. Is that normal? Do you think we all have bi-sexual tendencies to some degree?
– Hey, It Worked For Bowie
We are all bisexual. Enjoy it while you still have hair.