Bvdub Puts Rough Year Behind Him on Rare Mix of Melancholic Ambient Music

Needle Exchange

Words + Mix BROCK VAN WEY

The past year has been worst than I could ever have imagined on a personal level—a living hell I can’t escape from. Only in recent weeks have I begun to learn to cope with the effects it has had on my psyche, both on my own and with professional help. An integral part of that coping, and attempting to move forward, has been attempting to tackle my issues with both obsessive rumination, and learning to accept the fact that there are things and times in life literally and totally out of my control. At times I stride, at times I stumble, but I’m attempting to walk.

This mix tells the story of my recent attempts to let go. Not only of things in the past I cannot change, but of my overwhelming fear of not being in complete control… and the new heights of both fear and safety each afford. It’s been hard, but I’m trying. I don’t think there is a second of this mix that doesn’t scream that to the skies.


As always with any of my mixes, there is no tracklist. Anything, from mixes to music to everything else in the world, should simply be experienced and felt on its own, not broken down into the parts that make its sum and thus stripped of its intended, greater meaning. I guess we all need to learn to let go….

My deepest respects and thanks to every artist who composed the music within, which has helped me through one of the most difficult times in my life. I offer them my gratitude for all they share with the world, and my apologies for any liberties I take in weaving their individual work into a greater whole.

I will never get this year of my life back… but hopefully this brief account of my loss can help you in yours, and be a companion in your victories as well.

‘Heartless’, Brock Van Wey’s latest bvdub LP, is now available through n5MD. Stream it in full below, along with some of our favorite records from the reclusive, wildly prolific producer….