Category: Movies For the Blind

MOVIES FOR THE BLIND: Cage Delivers a Complete Guide to Zombie Films

September 27th, 2010 | File Under: Movies For the Blind | 5 comments

Going to the movies has been such a bore lately, so I’ve taken to watching a lot more movies at home. Zombie films, in particular. Being that most box office smashing is meant to appeal to a theatre packed full of corn syrup-sipping zombies, drooling into their over-sized buckets of corn, going “weeee” as they fall through plot holes, I thought this would be the perfect time to do an entire column on zombies. This piece is called…

I WANT TO EAT YOUR FUCKING FACE

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MOVIES FOR THE BLIND: Cage Watches a Documentary On Weed, a Comedy About Terrorism and … ‘Sex and the City’? Yep.

June 7th, 2010 | File Under: Movies For the Blind | 7 comments

Chris Palko first stormed onto the underground hip-hop scene as Cage with “Agent Orange,” a Clockwork Orange-sampling single from his 2002 album, Movies For the Blind. His free associative film column pays tribute to that record and runs on our daily site at the start of every week…when he’s not vacationing in London, which is what the rapper was busy doing for the past couple weeks.

And Palko’s response to all of you on that front? “I know, who goes to London for vacations? Sunshine hating misanthropes like myself, that’s who.” Welcome back.

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MOVIES FOR THE BLIND: Cage Returns With Reviews of ‘A Nightmare On Elm Street’, ‘Iron Man II’ and “One of the Sickest Films Ever”

May 14th, 2010 | File Under: Movies For the Blind | 8 comments

Oh, the '80s

Well, it usually does. Palko’s been overseas the past few weeks and just got caught up on his torrents and screener DVDs. To start, we have what may be the year’s worst movie…

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MOVIES FOR THE BLIND: Cage Gets His Ass Kicked By Kids After ‘Kick-Ass’, Digs Some Docs About Banksy and Black-Metal

April 21st, 2010 | File Under: Movies For the Blind | 11 comments

Exit Through the Gift Shop

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MOVIES FOR THE BLIND: Cage Fantasizes About Tina Fey, Wonders What the Hell Woody Harrelson Is Doing With Duct Tape On His Chest

April 13th, 2010 | File Under: Movies For the Blind | 4 comments

Steve Carrel and Tina Fey after a couple rounds in the ring with Cage

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MOVIES FOR THE BLIND: Cage Cheers For a ‘Baby-Stealing Psycho’, Uncovers a ‘Kubrick Film On Crack In Another Language’

April 6th, 2010 | File Under: Movies For the Blind | 15 comments

When did Ben Stiller get so creepy?

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MOVIES FOR THE BLIND: Cage Tells George Romero To Drop Dead, Takes Off All His Clothes At a ‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ Screening

March 29th, 2010 | File Under: Movies For the Blind | 12 comments

The water's fine in 'Hot Tub Time Machine'

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MOVIES FOR THE BLIND: Cage Pisses Himself At ‘She’s Out of My League’, Reveals One of the Most Brutal Films He’s Ever Seen

March 23rd, 2010 | File Under: Movies For the Blind | 9 comments

Looking down the barrel of a gun with Michael Caine

Chris Palko first stormed onto the underground hip-hop scene as Cage with “Agent Orange,” a Clockwork Orange-sampling single from his 2002 album, Movies For the Blind. His free associative film column pays tribute to that record and runs on our daily site every Monday (Tuesday this week, because of SXSW)…

Posted in: Movies For the Blind

MOVIES FOR THE BLIND: Cage Steals Acid Tabs From a 9-Year-Old At ‘Alice In Wonderland,’ Gets In the ‘Green Zone’ With Matt Damon

March 15th, 2010 | File Under: Movies For the Blind | 15 comments

Alice In Wonderland

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MOVIES FOR THE BLIND: Cage Files His First Film Column From the Frontlines of the Oscars

March 8th, 2010 | File Under: Movies For the Blind | 28 comments

One of many fight scenes from 'Bronson'

By Chris Palko

Hello everyone. It gives me extreme pleasure to report back from the Oscars that aired last night. I was afraid I was going to miss it because of the whole Cablevision scandal with ABC. It’s a good thing I’m a slave to Time Warner Cable because what would I have done? Download it like all the Cablevision subscribers, that’s what. Which would have been a bad idea because then I would miss all the awesome commercials.

Posted in: Movies For the Blind

Category: Movies For the Blind

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