Dear Eminem–
You survived a stint in rehab and some serious weight gain, only to rebound with a hit record in an era where they simply don’t exist anymore.
Lighten up. And if all of this was staged, then you truly are an unparalleled master of self-promotion. (Yep, it was; man, we’re gullible. Oh well.)
Kinda reminds us of this whole debacle from a few years back…